2

The diff between men and women

by 28. July 2008 16:29

Someone said, "a woman will give up the world for a man, a man will give up a woman for the world", I think it totally makes sense. So no matter how much people are trying to fight for equality among men and women, we can NEVER be equal because of pure natural reasons....we are borned to be different.  We have a totally different mind set, diff perspective, diff view....that being said, I still feel proud to be a woman...  Being borned in a traditional chinese family, I'm very used to how boys are ALWAYS preferred over girls.   I was borned in China and due to the single child rule there, my parents decided to leave the country...for the only reason that I am a girl...and they wanted a boy. 20yrs after leaving the country, I now have 2 brothers and 2 sisters.....LOL...I feel so proud of my mom!  My mom, Mrs. Chen  is a great mom.  She loves kids.  Having 5 kids these days is not an easy task at all.  She managed to do it....It cost about $204,060 to raise a child nowadays. It's really not an easy task!  Aside from the financial matter, we still have to take into consideration the time needed to educate him/her.  And for me, being a girl borned in a very traditional chinese family, and about to get married to a super traditional chinese family, the pressure of getting a boy is intense.  They always make it the women's fault if she gives birth to a girl.  I remember when my mom gave birth to my 4th sister....she cried.  She was expecting a boy then, but it turned out to be a girl.  My bf's mom, when she was pregnant of him, she was so worried that she's bearing a girl....until he was borned.  I can't imagine how she made it through those 10mths pregnacy with all those pressures and worries.  On one of the conversation I had with her was the following:
bf's mom: you guys should get married soon...it not too good to have babies at old age
me: yeah, I agree, but its ok, I'm just planning to have one child, so it doesn't matter
bf's mom: one? no way....at LEAST 2, and one of them should be a boy
me: eh?? y does it have to be a boy? I don't mind the sex, as long as its my child
bf's mom: no no no, it does matter.....its very important to have a boy in our family
me: what if its a girl?
bf's mom: hmm....try for another one...
me: what if the 2nd one is still a girl?
bf's mom: try again...

LOL....$204,060 * ? = ?  how many times can I try or afford to try? haha...yeah, I am a web developer, and currently making a decent income, but how much time I can afford to spend on my kids?  I think I know that better than anyone.  I'm not having a kid just because I need to, but because I want to.  A child is not a LV or Gucci, where I gotta have cuz others have.   I feel so lucky cuz I grew up in Toronto, and don't tend to follow any traditions.  I don't want to argue with anyone, cuz after all, this is my life....I don't need anyone to tell me how many kids I need to have.  That being said, I still feel proud to be a girl.  Well, I should say that I feel very lucky to be me.  I've had luck most of my life.  I got the most caring and loved parents in the world, I've had very good luck in my career so far(I've worked very hard for it though), I have a very caring guy that loves and treats me right(although he's not perfect, but I still think he's the best), I've got a bunch of great and trustable friends....what else can I ask?  God has given me a lot of challenges, but he has give me even more blessings.  Every obstacle in life, makes me stronger, every wrong makes me righter, every forgiveness makes me grow, every regret makes me love.  Every steps in my past built who I am today.  So, regardless the diff between men and women, I still feel proud to be who I am.

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Life | Natural needs

26

A month after my upper jaw surgery...

by 9. July 2008 16:30

Jun 4, 2008 was the initial process.  It was the day when I had the "palatal expander" inserted.  I need to have that special appliance in place prior to my surgery on Jun 6, 08.....yes, it was scheduled for Jun 6 at 6am.....hehe, I was requested to arrive at 6am, but the actual surgery was scheduled for 8am.  I remember I slept quite well that night.  I was so relax and calm.  I was quite excited about the procedure and wasn't worried at all.  Arrived at EGH at 5:45ish, had to wait for the admin personel which didn't start administering patients till 6am.  Finally my turn arrived, they did all the paperwork, OHIP, insurance, confirm address etc, then I was admitted to the admission care room....or whatever they call it.  They took my hearth pressure and temperature again.  I was asked to get changed and rest on one of their beds.  It's 7:30...IV time.  The nurse came to my bed, I was asleep (could you tell that I wan't worried at all), woke me up and tried to insert the IV on the back of my palm.  Geez, that's the most scary thing ever...she couldn't find my vein, tried again, failed, tried agan, failed again, she gave up.  She took me to the operation room where the anasthetian came (he was a chinese guy who talked to me in Cantonese) and put me on IV......before I knew what was going on, I was out.

Couple hours later, I woke up in the recovery room. The surgeon came to me and said that my surgery was very successful.  I nodded and fell asleep again...kinda half sleep...I could tell they were taking me somewhere...to my room (a semi-private room on the 8th floor).  I remember they asked me if I could slide to the bed by myself, and so I did.  I went back to sleep again.  Couple hours later, I was waken up by a nurse; she asked me to rinse my mouth with a 15ml of peridex that she handed to me;  so I did...well, not exactly; she asked me to hold it in my mouth for 1 min, and I tried, but I ended up swallowing it all...yuck! Couple minutes later, I puke......lots of clots where in my stomach making it very upset...blood was coming out of my nose...the nurse cleaned me up...I went back to sleep.  Couple hours later, the nurse came again with food, and mouth rinse again.  This time, I didn't swolled, but I puke again.  I had too much clot on my stomach, I puke about 3-4 times....everytime they wake me up, I felt stomach upset, and would puke.  It was about 8pm, someone called my name.....it was Fiona.  And as usual, I puke again, cuz I was to sit up and that made me dizzy.  I went right back to sleep after the puking.  I think I really scared her, but I wasn't in pain at all.  I could sleep right away after puking.  Later at night, Jack came over.  This time I didn't puke, maybe because I got rid of all the clot in my stomach.  I was feeling much better and was able to talk more.  He stayed for a bit and was asked to leave, because it was 11ish pm.  The next day, Saturday, I woke up pretty early....I should say I was woken up pretty early, 7ish am.  I felt much better and looking at the IV, really bothered me, so I asked to have it removed.  The nurses, yes, nurses, because I asked a couple of them to remove it for me, but they refused.  They said that I wasn't eating anything, so I need it to keep myself hydrated, and get all the food and medication thru it.  I asked to be discharged, but there were no discharge order from my surgeon.  I asked for my surgeon, they said she should arrive sometime later.  Well, yeah, later, late afternoon, she came.  She said I could go home the next day, Sunday.  The nurses keep saying that I had very low blood pressure(90/60), that's why they were keeping me there.  A bit later, after the surgeon left, Dr. Hui, Selina and Simon came to visit me.  It was so unexpected.  I was with 2 bags of ice on my head.  I was a bit more active then, because I've been sleeping for a good 2 days.  We had a small chat and it was 9pm, so they were asked to leave.  Later around 11ish pm, Jack came with his mom.  This time, I was totally awake.  It was so quiet and peaceful the 2 nights I was hospitalized.  I was very bored on Saturday and Sunday, when I was waiting for Jack to pick me up. I remember I woke up really early, again by the nurse.  She brought me breakfast, I was able to drink a boost shake....it was very tasty, but very nasty after a while, when I blurt....so I avoided any diary after that.  I came home on Sunday; Jack went to get me all the medications from the doctor's prescription, and even got me a humidifier that was supposed to aid on my breathing....so nice of him.  The antibiotics and pain killers were so bitter, I throw up the first time.  I tried several times to avoid them, but Jack keeps bugging me to take them.  In fact, whenever the alarm rings, he brings them directly to me.  I couldn't skip any dose at all.  Jack's mom was very nice too.  She made me soup cooked soft food for me.  She watched out on me for the med when Jack wasn't around.  On that Sunday, Simon and the whole gang came.  I was so touched, they almost made me cry.  That's when I realized that I am a very lucky person.  I didn't tell anybody about the surgery, but I ended up having so many visitors and so many friends.  I really appreciate what they have done for me.  I stayed home for a week.  I was able to get a 2nd week off because I had a doctor's note, but I was too bored on the 2nd week, so I decided to get back to work.  One thing to mention is the med I took.  They gave me really bad side effects.  I had short breath and my hearth was beating super fast.  I was very sensitive to the appliance, I felt like puking all the time.  I called the surgeon and she asked me to stop all the med.  That was only Wed, I've only taken them for 2 entire days, and felt really sick.  I felt normal again right after I stopped them.  I hope she can prescribe some other type of med for my 2nd surgery.  Right after the surgery, my face was very swollen, but it came down after the first week.  I felt so sick because of the med, I didn't even take any pics.  I definitely lost some weight those days.

Today, a month and 3 days after the surgery, I'm feeling totally fine.  80% of my swolling has come down.  The rest takes about 2 months to totally disappear.  I wonder if this would be totally gone by the time I depart to my Asia trip.  And this huge gap between my front teeth, when will it go  away.  My ortho said that it should be gone eventually, how long is that "eventually" gonna take?  Aside from that, I'm totally ok.  The only problem is the swollen vein on the IV site(phlebitis).  Its swollen, firm and it hurts.  Doctor said I should see a physiotherapist.  We'll see. Lately, I've been able to eat more harder food, like chicken steak and some veggie.  I've gained some lbs back, which now makes me look and feel better.  I got more energy and my face is not as pale as before.  Right now, all I want is to get rid of this appliance and start the ortho process.  I was so scared right after the surgery, that I've thought of not doing the 2nd one.  But now, I'm actually anxious to the it done. I've read some forums, and seen some before/after photos.  All these people are so satisfied with the results.  I really want to get every over and soon, but .....my teeth is the boss.

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