BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>>> > > >
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
>>> > > >
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>>> > > > >
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>>> > > > >
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>>> > > > >
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
>>> > > > >
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>>> > > > >
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out
of his mouth.
>>> > > > >
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
>>> > > > >
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
>>> > > > >
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>>> > > > >
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no
one else?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
>>> > > > >
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the
sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
>>> > > >
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
>>> > > > >
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
>>> > > > >
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
>>> > > > >
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman".
>>> > > > >
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance repeated".
>>> > > > >
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
>>> > > > >
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
>>> > > > >
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical reco rds show that nine
out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the
tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
>>> > > > >
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same
day and at the same time."
>>> > > > >
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his
father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

"A young man at a New Year?s party turns to his
friend and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year?s resolution to quit
smoking,' his friend says.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' the man says.
'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'What's phase one?'
'I've quit buying.'"