Today, something very interesting crossed my mind; Maslow's piramid of needs. This hierarchy resembles human beings; and I'm no exception. I still remember my high school years. I was new to Canada, not knowing anything/anyone; everything was so unfamiliar to me; so foreign. At that time, my main goal was to earn my living. I was living by myself, therefore every single penny needed to be earned. I knew since then that in order to have a better future, I needed to go back to school. Back then, I wasn't a Canadian citizen yet, therefore, I could only afford college tuition. I struggled to work full time and attend college full time(80% course load) and finally accomplished a college diploma 4.5 years later. To me, that represents a big accomplishment. Those four and half year were my best and yet worst years. Best because I've always liked school. I always think everyone is equally smart if they are willing to try. Only lazy people are what so called dumb. Despite the toughness of working full time and going to school full time, I enjoyed school to the fullness. Every week I had to work 60+ hours. Besides from work time and school time, I barely had time to sleep; not even to mention homework, cuz I rarely did any.
And I think this is why I love to sleep so much nowadays hehehe, on average, I sleep about 9 hours daily. That's quite a bit for an adult. 
At this point, level one and two of the piramid has been met. This is quite funny, but its real...Maslow enclosed the following in the first level of the piramid: breathing, homeostasis, water, sleep, food, excretion, SEX, clothing and shelter. I guess SEX is as important as water or food...what so called "D-needs". Level two refers to safety, therefore my need for a stable job and better future came into place when I decided to attend college. Level three, "Love/Belonging". Sometimes, this is so hard to distinguish its level, because I know that this, for some, belongs to level 2. e.g someone willing to give its life for their love ones. Meaning, some people are willing to sacrifice their safety for love. Two years ago, B gor gor's friend was using her life to threathen him. She was willing to give up her life if she couldn't date B gor gor. Thanks God nothing happened and she is still sound and save. I couldn't understand why. It didn't satisfy Maslow's hierarchy. It didn't satisfy the natural needs of human being. I consider myself a very lucky person. My needs up to this point still follows Maslow's hierarchy. Level three of Love/Belonging were satisfied in the right order. 
Next level in the piramid is Self-esteem. I think currently, I'm at this level....or between this and Self-actualization. Well, some and not all. I think level 3 is a long stage in life...seeking for confidence, achievement, respect etc. confidence and respect needs to be built up. You can possess confidence at this point and yet loose it on the next min. The same happens with respect. Or you can loose confidence in life as in Self-actualization and realize that you are no longer in control of life, then you seek spiritual being. I also have to mention between Self-esteem and Self-actualization, there are also cognitive needs and aethetic needs. The needs for knowledge and beauty. I seem to be crossing the needs of these last couple levels. I'm seeking for confidence and achievement and respect, but I'm also seeking for knowledge and beauty. Yet I'm also seeking for spiritual belief, because I've always known that as human being we are in not control of live. I accept that facts that one day, anytime from this moment onward, we'll be gone and all those needs/accomplishments we have achieved has no meaning anymore. Two days ago, I woke up with a big pain on my right neck. I couldn't move my head to the right, cuz the pain was so sharp that it hurts even tilting it foward. The next day, the pain got worst. My left side of the neck started to hurt. This time, I couldn't move my head to neither way. Everytime I need to move my head, I needed to move my entire body. And even doing that, it still hurt. I was very worried. I know Dr. Hui's friend died of cancer couple years ago. His first symptoms were sharp pain on his back and spinal cord. He was dianogsed with the last stage of spinal cord cancer and died couple months later. When you are ill, nothing has value anymore. Achievements, respect, beauty, knowledge....nothing matters anymore. These two days, aside from the pain, I realized so many things. Life is so fragile. You can be gone any minute., because nobody has control over live. Like the beauty sunset over my windows. It was so sharp, so charm, but gone so fast. I couldnt' do anything to stop it from sunseting. That's how life is.....life is so charming, so precious, so beautiful, but doesn't last forever. This made me appreciate it even more.....and enjoy it to the fullest....the way how I enjoyed the sunset that only lasted 6 mins. Life is full of tresures and surprises and I'm using my entire lifetime to discover them.
Work has been a bit stressful lately. I usually don't get stressed easily, but for some reason, this project was able to do it. I think my team lead caused my stress, because he is. Both my senior and team tead are working very hard and are very stressed over this project. My senior is always working late... and I really mean late....10pm...11pm. My team lead??? he's even worst, I sometimes see him online at 1am, 2am and get emails from him the next morning 7am...I wonder if he even sleeps. Noticing these things, I want to be somehow helpful. We are a team, therefore I have the responsibility to relief some of their frustration. I am working harder than I used to, and longer hours in order to get over this project. I don't want to have both top guys working like crazy and me not doing anything. That makes me feel useless. I think at this stage, we are in a "ok" shape. I just want to get this project over and move on to new projects. Although this project has been a mess, I have learned sooo much from it. My knowledge has taken a big step forward.
My courses are starting next Monday, and I still haven't received any admission letters. Well, in this case, I'll take my chances. Although I have the confidence they'll take me, but who knows, they might come up with excuses that I am missing this and that course blah blah.....if it comes to worst, I'll just loose my tuition. No big deal...I guess! I can afford to loose the money, but can't afford to loose my hope to get a degree.
God bless me.